Yep, He called me out, and ironically, the accusation was thrown at me as I finished my draft for the 8th book in my Guilty series, The Confession. Put the celebration on hold. First, I had some repenting to do.
Nobody wants to be called a liar and when it comes from a person in authority, it’s more humiliating. When God says it, it’s devastating. You see, for the past month or so, God had been dealing with me to be careful about what I say, because my word is my bond.
So here’s my confession:
I am a full-time author, but I’m also a wife, mother, neighborhood trustee, RT Booklovers Convention publicist and when I can fit it into my schedule, I work short term temp assignments to pay for editing.
Most friends know I have an exhausting tour schedule in the summer. Add my daughter’s relocation and I’m done. Her promotion is an accomplishment that I’m proud of, but the added travel meant more stretching myself thin.
In August, I was in Cleveland, Houston and Baltimore. During these road trips, I had a manuscript due at the end of August and a new release the beginning of September. When my boss from the magazine asked if I could do PR work for a Houston conference, I initially declined, because of my exhausting schedule. Plus, I was hoping to get a couple of days or weeks of temp assignments to pay for my next project—THE CONFESSION.
The disappointment in her voice was undeniable, which tugged at me. Kathryn and the staff had been good to me. When I discussed with my co-publicist what Kathryn wanted, Lisa also didn’t have time to dedicate to a campaign that required saturating the media in a short time span. Eventually, Lisa and I agreed to do what we could. But my commitment came with a footnote. I asked Kathryn to refer me to an editor and cover the expenses, so I wouldn’t have to work a temp assignment to come up with the money. She easily agreed, so Lisa and I went to work.
Okay, so why did God call me a liar?
A few weeks into the PR project, the temp agency called me twice about a part time, two week assignment. Initially, I said no and explained all that I had going on, but the rep seemed to sweeten the pot, agreeing to work around my schedule and travel. Perfect, huh? Somehow, I convinced myself that I could get all my commitments done within the 24 hours in a day. I took the assignment that would start the day after Labor Day.
A few days later, I was sitting my home office and out of nowhere; God said clearly, “You lied.”
Standing before the presence of God is not the same as lying to your Momma. His creatures are transparent. I knew exactly what Jesus was referencing.
I gave my boss my word that I would work for her in lieu of working a temp assignment. The next morning when I told my husband what God had said, Kerry said I shouldn’t take the assignment.
Oh boy, that meant I had to be Christian (humble) enough to apologize to the rep for putting her in a bind by not taking the job. Although she was upset, the rep still tried to work with me (Bless her heart). But I had to explain that it wasn’t about the assignment anymore, but my word, which she professionally told me I had given her my word too. True. It was embarrassing and humiliating, but I refused to be swayed. I’m sure I’m now black listed with that agency, but I had no choice. God’s voice was louder.
A few days after that love talk with God, I had a chance to reflect on my chastening and I was actually happy that God loved me so much that He would point out my sins, give me a chance to repent and learn my lesson—mean what I say and say what I mean.
“Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight in Jesus name. Amen.” Psalm 19:14.